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Evan Peters Is Pretty Darn Cute in Colonial Garb, Frances Conroy Is a Redneck Cannibal on 'AHS: Roanoke'

Peters (and Conroy) finally appeared on Wednesday's 'American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare,' and they are nothing like we expected.

Evan Peters Is Pretty Darn Cute in Traditional Colonial Garb, Guys
FX

[Warning: This article contains spoilers from American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare "Chapter 5." Read at your own risk.]

Evan Peters took American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare by storm on Wednesday, and it's about cotton-pickin' time.

Peters' character is colonial rich boy Edward Philipe Mott (sound familiar, Freak Show fans?), a closeted homosexual and/or bisexual art enthusiast who also happens to be an ultra-entitled sociopath. Mott is the original owner of Shelby and Matt's Roanoke home, commissioning its build, stuffing it with priceless art, and getting busy with down-low, velvet-tongued boyfriend Guiness in its plushy bed chambers.

We're not jealous, you're jealous.

Unfortunately for Mott, he chooses to build said home on Sappony Road right in The Butcher and Croatoan's stomping grounds, and his beloved art pays for it.

Evan Peters Is Pretty Darn Cute in Traditional Colonial Garb, Guys
FX

Yes, it's Kathy Bates' Thomasin White who lays ruin to his beloved self-portraits. Unfortunately for Mott's house staff — whom he immediately strips butt naked and locks underground for the offense, never to be released — Eddy is kind of an oblivious arse. It isn't until his property is advanced upon by the Colony that he realizes his mistake. He's dragged out of his luxe home and pierced through the back with an unnecessarily husky wooden stick.

We don't see Mott again until later in the episode, when the Colony once again terrorizes Shelby, Matt, and Flora during the rise of the Blood Moon. You see, way back in the day when Mott crafted the home, he had tunnels built underneath the home so that if burglars ever came for his precious art, he'd have a way to save it. A now ghostly Mott is also a total misanthrope, and hey, he just doesn't want to deal with seeing three more condemned souls on the daily. He helps all three escape underneath the house and out onto the road, to safety.

One more fun little detail? Turns out the last of the Mott line — a family of insane weirdos — died in South Florida in the 1950s. The subtle connection to AHS: Freak Show, wherein Dandy Mott and family also did insane weirdo things, is one of the first we've seen in this season.

Evan Peters Is Pretty Darn Cute in Colonial Garb, Frances Conroy Is a Redneck Cannibal on 'AHS: Roanoke'
FX

In other fresh character news, Frances Conroy also showed up as the matriarch of the red neck crew Shelby and Matt encountered during their ill-fated house hunt in "Chapter 1." Before the couple realized The Butcher and the Colony existed, they blamed the rednecks for the strange things happening at the house. The truth is worse: Elias Cunningham (Denis O'Hare), who had previously been shot multiple times with arrows by Pig-Headed Man, lies on a table in the shack the rednecks take Shelby, Matt, and Flora when they mug them on the road. He's missing his right arm and leg, and it takes a couple minutes before we realize that's because the redneck crew is also the cannibal crew, and this neighborhood quirk probably wasn't on WalkScore.

Conroy played Shacath the Angel of Death in AHS: Asylum and well-meaning witch Myrtle Snow in Coven, as well as Dandy's mom Gloria in Freak Show.

Evan Peters Is Pretty Darn Cute in Colonial Garb, Frances Conroy Is a Redneck Cannibal on 'AHS: Roanoke'
FX

As it happens, the redneck cannibals have a deal with The Butcher to turn Matt and Shelby over, so they stick them in the truck to take them back. Matt takes advantage of one weak moment and overpowers Redneck Cannibal Brother in the bed of the truck, shooting Older Redneck Cannibal Brother (the driver) and allowing them an escape. Unfortunately, for some inexplicable reason, they decide to hide instead of run, the rednecks catch up, matriarch Conroy breaks Shelby's ankle with a shovel, and they're right back in the truck headed to the Colony.

Just as they're all about to be sacrificed, The Butcher's son (Wes Bentley) attacks her and drags the both of them into the fire. He "won't stand" to shed anymore innocent blood, and suddenly it becomes apparent he's the single good person in the Colony.

His actions give Lee (Angela Bassett) — who's just been released from jail — the chance to run over homicidal Pig-Headed Man with her car after the cop who drops her off ditches her like a real country prince.

They all get away, retreat to a nearby motel, and escape back to Los Angeles.

By the end of "Chapter 5," the interviewees have finished telling their story, but there's one small problem: we still have at least four more episodes left in this season. This sets us up perfectly for that mega-twist AHS creator Ryan Murphy has promised in "Chapter 6."

Oh, goodie.

Catch American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare "Chapter 6" Wednesday, October 18 on FX.

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