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Scandal 3.13 Recap: Power Rankings For 'No Sun on the Horizon'


(ABC)

Well Gladiators, the Presidential race is in full swing this week (and is literally full of murderers), and Olivia’s stuck between Jake and Fitz, as per usual. All the happenings left us a lot of material to rank, power-wise, so let’s get to it, shall we?

1. Jake Ballard: Now that’s a man, folks: a guy who can look that good in a dress shirt and rip a cork right out of a bottle of Bordeaux. Unf. But, fortunately for us, Jake Ballard is damaged enough to admit that he wants a normal life sometimes and that he has no family. Some days, he wants to be Jim Halpert and just sell paper. For now, he’s settling for welcoming Quinn into the folds of B613/Acme Ltd as receptionist, enforcing a “no freelance” rule on B613, denying Cyrus’ request to murder Sally (and then ordering it anyway after doing his own research), and asking Liv to run away with him before hardcore smooching her (all while ignoring some perfectly good Gettysburger takeout). To which we cheer! And then boo when she later shuts him out. The last scene of the show is a real doozy, folks: a meeting gets called for Publius & Co. (David Rosen, James, NSA chick, and reporter chick), and everyone thinks someone else called the meeting. Bullets start flying, taking down the two women, and the gunman is… Jake. Will he shoot James or David Rosen? Damn, homie. Jake, we thought we knew you, and then this happens? Maybe you should actually eat a Gettysburger and cheese fries and relax once in a while.

2. Olivia: Olivia cracks up not four minutes into her first scene, after she lets Cyrus know that she knows about Daniel Douglas, laughing on and on about how everyone in the debate is a murderer. Jesus, is this the state of Shonda Rhimes’ American politics? However, she tells Cyrus, and then David, that she wants no part of this D-squared murder thang. Liv wants to wear the white hat, not be dragged back into the dark of a once again unclean presidential race. However, once Cy shows her Sally’s state of mind, Liv calls Fitz to invoke their Vermont “no lying” rule and tell him about Sally killing Daniel Douglas. This is Liv playing her power card and asking Fitz for a favor: to throw the debate. She lets Fitz behind the curtain of power and he cries about it. The White House, y’all: it ain’t for the faint of heart.

3. Fitz: Fitz is killin’ in the faux debate he’s doing with Mellie and Nichols, so Cyrus gets all excited in his pants (presidential poll points are the only thing that turns him on). Unfortunately, as soon as the momentum on this “Sally-killed-Daniel-Douglas” thing gets rolling, Liv asks Fitz to throw the debate so Sally doesn’t confess. That’s a tough request, though. Is it possible to make Sally look any less crazy? I don’t think so. However, he falls on his sword, which I guess we begrudgingly have to admit was a power move. But it wasn’t his idea, it was Liv’s. And then he whines about it. So. Third place.

4. Quinn: Quinn is undercover as a receptionist for paper office, and she answers the phone like she’s actually selling paper. Even Charlie says it. Quinn, get with it: you’re part of B613 now (full agent status pending), not pricing out reams. She flexes her B613 muscle by calling out Jake and telling him that he’s keeping her behind the desk at Acme Limited because he’s hazing her. That could be true, Quinn, but once you got your teeth out, you got a little whacked out. Better safe than sorry, Jake. He lets her graduate to full agent, though, and her first task is to break into Olivia’s office for the DD file. She does so, practically skipping with joy. Play it cool, Q. You’re in the big leagues now.

5. Andrew Nichols: Anyone else feelin’ this guy? Because we sure are. More man candy on Scandal! Anyway, he didn’t do much this episode except make eyes at Mellie, and given how heavy this episode was, we need a little man candy, ya hear?

6. Mellie: Acts the heck outta a Sally Langston impression during debate practice. All while making eyes at Nichols, who’s acting as Reston, and preening with pride as Fitz schools both of them with his debatin’ skillz. Oh, Mellie, you minx.

7. Cyrus: After discovering the mic James hid in their family photo frame, he at least sort of admits that he deserved that. And apologizes. But is it real? Or is it manipulative? Otherwise, he spends the episode running around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to fix the situation and largely failing. He even got dissed and dismissed by Jake. Command runs sh*t, Cy, haven’t you heard?

8. Sally Langston: Um, Sally is an angry debater. During practice, she preaches from her pulpit about cloven hooves and the devil and slithering. Reverend Dale, the guy Leo brought in to help Sally with “debate prep” aka convince her not to be crazy, looks around like, oh, I have to do an exorcism now? I’m not a Catholic priest, yo. She’s running wild and she can’t be reined in. She flipping confessed to the Reverend and then she decides to confess to the world so God will hear. Do I smell a #DebateConfession?! When Olivia goes to visit Sally to convince her not to confess, Kate Burton (did you know she's the daughter of Richard Burton? Pretty cool.) channels her Alzheimer’s-patient-Ellis-Grey acting past to make this speech one of the least lucid things that she’s ever uttered on television, and she played a woman with Alzheimer’s. She tells Liv that she is still going to confess on national television so she can get in good with God again. Geez. She doesn’t, though, taking Fitz’s bumble as a sign from God and showing up (mentally) to the debate in the end.

9. David Rosen: “What would Olivia Pope do? Someone really needs to put that on a bracelet.” Wise words, David Rosen, wise words. Too bad they might be your last (figuratively speaking). If Jake shot you! Guess we’ll find out next week (but we kind of think he did).

10. James: Panicking, as always, and trying to convince David Rosen that they should go public with the Daniel Douglas info. Get this guy some herbal tea. And a divorce lawyer. Since Cyrus discovered the mic James hid in their family photo frame at the end of the episode, and Jake comes after the four sources who know about Sally killing DD, these orders might be moot. James might be dead.

Well, last week’s promos were right, Gladiators: we did not want to miss the last 30 seconds of this episode. Jake is a cold-blooded killer (in the name of the Republic, of course), but who did he shoot? We have reasons to kill either one off (we all have our favorites, after all), but what do you think? Sound off in the comments below, and we’ll see you back next week for the big reveal.
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