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'Revenge' 3.22 Recap: 'Execution'


(ABC)

It’s season finale time, Revenge fans! Are you ready for the finale-worthy drama going down in the Hamptons? You better believe that we are!

Lindsay: It’s weird that they’ve put Conrad in jail and suddenly Aiden is calling Emily “Amanda,” and all after the whole “I don’t know that person anymore” thing. And now they’re in love and fornicating, they are sure to break up by the 38th minute (reality? he’s dead by the 31st. Price is Right rules denote I win). Anyway, they’re celebrating the fact that Conrad is in jail and David Clarke’s case is being looked at again. Later on in the episode, it’s announced that the case is being officially reopened due to the evidence in the Conrad case, and David Clarke is being posthumously exonerated of all charges. Emily cries, Nolan toasts, Jack buys the whole bar a round (can he afford that? He’s a poor Montauk-ian, after all).

Jess: So it turns out that Charlotte’s stalker letters were penned by Victoria for her bodyguard (#NotFrank) to send as a trap for Emily. She was betting Ems would follow the lead, since she’s onto Emily’s true identity (and the DNA tests from last week all but confirm her suspicions). Emily does, heading to the cabin and besting #NotFrank in a scuffle. Unfortunately for her, Vic is still a few steps ahead. She’s not the Queen for nothin’, y’all. When Aiden poses as a patient to get the “I locked Amanda Clarke away and brainwashed her to hate David Clarke all those years ago” therapist (Ems took her down, red Sharpie style, in season 1) to confess/hand over her records, Vic is already there to poison Aiden and give him a talking to. And after a few seconds, Aiden is dead via toxin poisoning and pillow-smothering, as Victoria’s revenge for Emily taking away Pascal. Uh, bye Aiden! We will definitely miss you. As a super creepy coda to this murder, Queen V carefully places #DeadAiden on Emily’s couch in front of a roaring fire so Ems will be extra destroyed when she finds him.

Lindsay: Aiden’s dead face looks like the face that happens to you before you die in The Ring. Just saying. Um, anyway, why does Gideon (or as Margaux pronounces it, GEEDEEYON) not have an accent? Is he like, the American son some French people adopted to look down upon? Well, it’s because the two do not share the same mother, and he went to boarding school in New Hampshire. Convenient plan, Revenge writers. Can you also get this guy to either shave his beard, tweeze his eyebrows, or cut his hair? Pick two. Thank you. GEEDEEYON talks to Nolan and they’re basically like, “let’s do this, let’s bring down my sister and the Graysons,” but they don’t have a solid plan. (“KILL DANIEL. SOMEONE KILL DANIEL.” - Jess, to which, yes). Whatever the plan is, it involves drinking absinthe and saying they’re going to hit on a bunch of girls (and probably not hitting them and just getting sh*tfaced). GEEDEEYON says that he is starting his own firm and doesn’t want Margaux to be mad at him. Daniel thinks he has the upper hand, but GEEDEEYON gets Daniel drunk and then gets a girl to sleep with Daniel. He pays the girl in coke, and she does too much of it and dies. When GEEDEEYON shows Nolan the picture he took of the dead girl and Daniel in the same bed, Nolan is all “dude, that is not what I meant.” But it proves effective.

Jess: Conrad’s finally breaking down in the prison chapel, claiming that he’d prefer death to this torture, and then he’s interrupted by a security guard who beat him up earlier. That doesn’t look good (and it’s not: the guard dresses Conrad up as a priest and sneaks him out of jail, where he’s then attacked on the side of the road and stabbed by someone to whom he says, “Oh my god, not you, David Clarke”). But before we see his fate, we see Emily visiting Charlotte, giving her the “DC” ring, and trying to get Charlotte to move David’s body (because “the kidnapper may have effed with it for the ring, etc.”). Char refuses, so Emily decides to do it herself. Vic confronts her at the graveyard, tells Ems her theory about Ems’ real identity (spoiler alert: her theory is correct), and gets a shovel to the face after realizing that Emily isn’t digging up David’s grave, she’s digging up Amanda’s. But why? To make it look like Victoria was doing so, and to get her locked up in a psych ward (with the help of Doc Michelle) for the foreseeable future.

WWNW?:
  • Nolan’s mourning outfit: black turtleneck, black pinstripe vest. Only the best, even in times of extreme sadness.

Best Lines from “Execution”:
  • Not a line, but I loved the conversation between Jack and Nolan as they debated Ems’ probable desire to flat out kill Victoria for killing Aiden. They were so perfectly the angel & devil on Emily’s proverbial shoulders. Too bad she’d already flown the coop!
  • “Sorry’s not enough.” - Emily Thorne to Doc Michelle (evil therapist). Why wasn’t this the tagline for this show all along?

That’s a wrap for season 3, Revenge fans! Where will we be when season 4 starts this fall? Well, pretty sure Jack will be in prison, Conrad might’ve joined Aiden in that big Hamptons in the sky, and Vic will likely still be in the psych ward (with her own Fauxmanda as a roomie to start her own revenge scheme with? BFFAE!). Leave your thoughts on the finale in the comments, and have a great summer! We’ll see you this fall for a brand new season of Revenge.
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