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An Open Letter to Arya Stark: Your Kill List Awaits, We Believe in You

Winterfell is cool, and not that you've gotten complacent, but... that list is still pretty long.

Can Arya Eliminate Everyone on Her Kill List in the 1.5 Seasons Left?
HBO

Oh, Arya... it's not that I doubt you. In your young life, you've accomplished more bloody acts of violence and wreaked more homicidal havoc than most of us could ever even aspire. It's just that, well, you've been a little less focused lately. I'm not saying you're, you know, off your game or anything crazy like that. Obviously, you're the queen of carnage. The femme of fatale. The murderess we've all come to love and respect. But one might question why, with only 1.5 seasons of Game of Thrones remaining, you're slowing down instead of speeding up.

You see, you have quite a few enemies left on that all-important kill list of yours. We've been rooting for you since the first tiny seed of revenge planted itself in your mind when your dad was beheaded (RIP, Ned). You, more than anyone, deserve revenge. Your life was torn out from under you, any semblance of childhood, any ounce of stability you had left ripped to shreds until you had no choice but to go it solo and educate yourself in hopes of a better future.

How do I say this gently? It's not just you that this list affects, it's also your house — your family. The esteemed Stark reputation rests on your petite yet capable shoulders, and while you fully deserve a little vacay to rest and relax, time waits for no woman. Westeros must know what happens when a Stark is crossed. It's an imperative mission, and it's time to go. Your siblings will understand. Sansa seems to have Winterfell handled and, let's be real, Bran isn't the Bran you used to know.

As a soft reminder, let's recall all the horrible human beings that remain on your list. After all, how better to light a fire under you than to remember exactly why these people deserve to die? We only do this because we love you. We want you to succeed.

Here's everyone left on your kill list:


1. Cersei

An Open Letter to Arya: Can You Really Eliminate Everyone on Your Kill List in the Short Time You Have Left?
HBO

Cersei may not have swung the sword, but ultimately, she was responsible for your dad's death. It was Cersei who accused Ned of treason, leading to his BS conviction. With all the enemies this woman has, I know she'll be offed eventually, but Arya, I want to see you do it.

2. Ser Ilyn Payne

An Open Letter to Arya: Can You Really Eliminate Everyone on Your Kill List in the Short Time You Have Left?
HBO

Ilyn Payne took Ned's life by his own hand, at the order of that psychopath Joffrey Baratheon. He's got to go.

3. The Mountain

An Open Letter to Arya: Can You Really Eliminate Everyone on Your Kill List in the Short Time You Have Left?
HBO

You've had it out for this loser since he needlessly tortured innocents while searching out info on the Brotherhood Without Banners. He's since been murdered by Oberyn Martell, which was cool, but then he was reanimated by that weirdo Maester Qyburn. His sole purpose in life is to protect Cersei, of all people, like a creepy, lurking Dogue de Bordeaux. Girl, bye.

4. Melisandre

An Open Letter to Arya: Can You Really Eliminate Everyone on Your Kill List in the Short Time You Have Left?
HBO

The Red Woman earned a place on your list when she exchanged a bag of gold for your bestie, Gendry, enabling human slavery along with the Brotherhood. Chances are your paths will cross again some day soon-ish, but don't get complacent.

5 & 6. Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr

An Open Letter to Arya: Can You Really Eliminate Everyone on Your Kill List in the Short Time You Have Left?
Giphy

These lames are the ones who sold Gendry in the first place. They're accomplices, and there's no excuse.

7. The Hound

An Open Letter to Arya: Can You Really Eliminate Everyone on Your Kill List in the Short Time You Have Left?
HBO

Listen, I know you're conflicted on this one, and heck, you might even believe Ser Gregor to be dead. Once you discover he's both alive and banded with the Brotherhood, though, I know you'll make the right choice.

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