(Getty) Yesterday, the Internet received earth shattering news:
Ryan Gosling and
Eva Mendes are
expecting their first child together (gasp!). For everybody except Eva Mendes, this tidbit means, no, Gosling will never be your boyfriend. No, he probably has no inclination to wait for you
at the finish line with that tub of
Greek yogurt he promised, and, no, he probably isn't thinking about creating beautiful, multicultural babies with you any time soon. We know — it's a tough world out there.
But we promise, everything will be okay. If you've spent the last day and a half trying to cope with the life-altering news and wrap your mildly delusional brain around the fast-approaching arrival of the Baby Goose, here are a few ways for you to quickly and effectively deal:
1. Call #TheGosline
The British-based
helpline was set up last fall to console fans who flipped out when the actor announced he was taking a break from the spotlight. We're not sure if they're set up yet to handle calls from bummed fans, but it's worth a shot.
2. Turn your sadness into ire and remind yourself that The Gos isn't always as sweet as he looks. See:
Drive and
Only God Forgives.
3. Try to imagine that adorable
Father's Day hoax photo. Now image the baby in the snap is his child. Cute right? Do you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Slightly better even?
4. If those three steps don't work, remind yourself that Ryan Gosling is about to become a DILF — an exclusive club of Hollywood hotties that includes...
Chris Hemsworth:
Gavin Rossdale:
And David Beckham:
We're feeling a lot better now. Are you?
5. If all else fails, imagine a shirtless Zac Efron gloriously riding a steed through the water. That should help you forget about the Gos.
As Bustle so cleverly
pointed out, "Zefron" has picked up the slack left in the wake of Gosling's parenting news, and decided to impress us with his good looks, his great body, and his boyish charms. In this regard, Zac Efron is the new Ryan Gosling (sorry, Hey Girl) and the perfect pretend boyfriend to
inspire your dreams.
So, how do you feel now?
As Bustle so cleverly pointed out, "Zefron" has picked up the slack left in the wake of Gosling's parenting news, and decided to impress us with his good looks, his great body, and his boyish charms. In this regard, Zac Efron is the new Ryan Gosling (sorry, Hey Girl) and the perfect pretend boyfriend to inspire your dreams. 
