First up: There were inconsistencies in text and online votes this week, so they were thrown out. But fear not: The British CEO of Telescope, The Voice's voting platform, assures viewers that this decision will not affect the outcome.
Before the first elimination, Team Blake and Team Shakira join forces for a rendition of The Script's "Hall of Fame," and it's about as average as these big ensemble songs usually are. Zzz.
Then Twang Nation, aka Team Blake, is up for eliminations. America saved Holly Tucker, who has great Taylor-Swift-surprised face, and teen phenom Danielle Bradbery. Asked to choose between the Swon Brothers and Justin Rivers, Blake explains that he respects all three men on the stage and makes a pained, sad face. "For the sake of just keeping things as different and diverse as I can at this point in the competition for my team, I'm going to save the Swon Brothers," he finally announces.
Next up is Rod Stewart's performance of "Finest Woman," which is all kinds of thrusty. He eventually welcomes rocker-types Garrett Gardner, Karina Iglesias, and Josiah Hawley onstage for a mini-rendition of his hit "Forever Young." Karina tries too hard, Josiah's note ends poorly, and I like Garrett for the first time, maybe because he's smiling.
Then it's CeeLo's moment. He starts his song "Only You" from the comfort of a leather couch, which matches his leather shirt. He's thought this one out. He's joined by his season two finalist Juliet Simms, who is wearing a sparkly cape. Where is the cat? The cutest part is the hug host Carson Daly gives CeeLo after the song.
Now it's time for Team Shakira's eliminations. America saves Sasha Allen first, because America is not stupid. Kris Thomas also gets the fan votes, leaving Karina Iglesias and Garrett Gardner on the stage. Shakira, who looks like she's going to throw up, explains that she's making her decision based on who she thinks she can actually help. "Karina, you have such a monster voice, and you're so good already, but Garrett, I think I can make you improve a lot more," she says. Afterwards, she gives Karina a warm hug, and it's then that the tears start flowing. Aww.
Team Adam and Team Usher join forces for "Don't You Worry Child," and Amber Carrington is surprisingly sexy, Judith Hill is unsurprisingly perfect, and Cathia hits one messy high note. Yeesh.
Now it's Team Usher's turn on the chopping block. America saves Michelle Chamuel first, because her performance of "True Colors" was some soul-shaking stuff (have you watched it yet? You really need to watch it). Also saved is Vedo, who leaps into the air and pumps his fist triumphantly before offering Cathia a huge hug. Now Shakira looks like she's going to throw up again. Usher says both Josiah Hawley and Cathia have already launched their careers regardless of who continues, but saves Josiah. Maybe because he understands the importance of a really solid haircut.
First saved on Team Adam is Judith Hill, because of course. She's Judith Hill. There was no way this wouldn't happen. America also saves Amber Carrington, which is no big surprise — her cover of "Stay" has done a crazy good job on iTunes. Adam says he doesn't think either Sarah Simmons or Caroline Glaser is better than the other, and that he doesn't believe music is a game, that the decision is killing him, blah blah blah, anguished noises, I hate this, Sarah Simmons. Adam's deliberations have run so long that poor Caroline doesn't get a chance to say goodbye. Womp womp.
TEAM BLAKE: Holly Tucker, Danielle Bradbery, The Swon Brothers
TEAM SHAKIRA: Sasha Allen, Kris Thomas, Garrett Gardner
TEAM USHER: Michelle Chamuel, Vedo, Josiah Hawley
TEAM ADAM: Judith Hill, Amber Carrington, Sarah Simmons