This week in "why, universe, why?!" there's a Sean Spicer talk show in the works. It will be called Sean Spicer's Common Ground, and if there's any justice in the world — any at all — it will never see the light of day. The New York Times got ahold of a "pitch sheet" for the series, which is essentially its angle. If you, like me, are not a fan of Trump's former pied piper, it's enough to make steam come out of your ears like a cartoon character. The series will feature the former White House Press Secretary as he hosts "some of the most interesting and thoughtful public figures for a drink and some lite conversation at a local pub or cafe." Is he capable of having a light conversation? Dude wasn't even secure enough to guest star on Saturday Night Live in honor of Melissa McCarthy's "Spicey" character.
The pitch also explains that "the relaxed atmosphere is an ideal setting for Sean to get to know his guests as they discuss everything from the media to marriage," and claims Spicer and his pals "might even tangle over the merits of making your bed or the value of a great point guard." Can you think of anything less necessary than televised casual chitchat with Sean Spicer? Just get a Twitter account like the rest of us, guy.
The Times caught up with Spicer on Monday, June 25, when he confirmed the show doesn't have a network yet — but he's on the hunt. "In this current environment," he told the outlet, "I think it’s important to have a platform where we can have civil, respectful, and informative discussions on the issues of the day." He said this without a hint of irony.
It's understandable if you've already forgotten the name Sean Spicer. Way back in 2017, he gained notoriety for his apoplectic, unapologetic, and often factually incorrect press briefings. The daily press briefing is meant to be a Q&A in which a spokesperson for the White House answers questions from a diverse group of press. During his tenure, the briefs were so heated that sparring between Spicer and journalists became a recurring sketch on SNL. Spicer's personality is permanently that of a dad in traffic with a car full of family members eager to get vacation underway. He's neither level-headed nor charismatic enough to pull off hosting a television show.
Here's another reason there shouldn't be a Spicer talk show on this or any other planet: He's a liar. The first 10 seconds of his first White House Press Briefing involved him angrily yelling about the size of the crowd at the 2017 inauguration. It didn't get any better from there. He was a mouthpiece for a hateful, incompetent, and destructive administration, and there's no coming back from that. As a society, we should not be rewarding this behavior. Enabling Spicer to host a daytime talk show would normalize everything wrong with the current administration. It would offer him a wider platform to rehab his image when he deserves zero platform for anything at all.
Putting politics aside, here are some other good questions: What would be the point of this? What purpose would Common Ground With Sean Spicer serve? Who asked for this? And are there not enough middle-aged straight white men with talk shows on television as it is?
It'll sure be interesting to see how this plays out. If Spicer is in the early stages of shopping the series around, there are many directions it could take. He could be shut down by everyone and laughed out of the industry (which would be ideal) or he could end up on a propaganda-style network like NRA TV. I can also see it ending up on a sad streaming platform hosted by one of his former boss's favorite websites.
Most likely, he'll end up on a channel owned and operated by Fox News. There, Common Ground With Sean Spicer could become a right-wing fixture — primarily watched by people's racist grandparents and Last Week Tonight staffers combing it for clips.
Here's hoping it doesn't make it that far — to quote Spicey himself — "period."