Let your freak flags fly!
The much-anticipated American Horror Story
premiere introduced us to the series' next batch of unique, multi-faceted, and sometimes terrifying characters (aside from fan favorite Pepper, who makes a return to the small screen!). We've rounded up some of the most memorable quotes of the night and what they may imply for the upcoming season. Check them out!
1. "Shut your disgusting mouth, you slut." - Dot Tattler
Can we just go out on a limb and predict that Dot and Bette Tattler will be the fan favorites from this season? Double the Sarah Paulson
= double the TV-watching and obsessively thinking about what-it-may-be-like-to-have-a-conjoined-twin fun. (If Paulson also falls under the Tatiana Maslany
multiple character acting curse during award nomination season, we're going to be as unhappy as Dandy in a cold chair. These roles should definitely land her an Emmy.)
Apparently masturbation is one of many challenges for twins who share a body. Rigid, uptight Dot nearly head-butted her outspoken sister, Bette, as she divulged personal details about their "cherry pie." The contrasting opinions, symbolized cleverly by Elsa's two different colored balloons, should make for a complex season that consistently questions right vs. wrong and challenges our own perceptions of exploitation.
Think The Adventures of Mary Kate & Ashley
...but with one body, two different minds, and investigating moral dilemmas, rather than an orangutan making strange noises at a theme park.
2. "Stars never pay." - Elsa Mars
Delusions of grandeur were running rampant tonight, but we certainly found ourselves feeling sorry for the German ringleader who craves so desperately to be a star. Despite a lack of constant validation from past freak show attendees, Ms. Mars has still convinced herself that she's a celebrity. We certainly weren't complaining during her show-stopping David Bowie number. And as long as she has the support of a bearded Ethel Darling (Kathy Bates)
, who needs the accolades and popularity? Jupiter residents are so
out of touch. 3. "Don't call us freaks!" - Jimmy Darling
Here's your tagline, AHS.
Lobster Boy shouted the words before slitting the police chief's neck in an act of rage and defiance. It's one of those moments where his violent reaction was used to make a statement about the show's major theme: at the end of the day, we're all human and want to be treated equally. The episode closes with a beautiful scene of Elsa removing her prosthetic legs. As a symbol of regality, poise, and power, she, in the end, shows that she is just like her "monsters."
4. "I developed a taste for rye whiskey and ended up in the drunk tank." - Ethel Darling
We just love Ethel. And the way she talks. Is she from Philly, Maryland, a random town in Minnesota? We can't place her. It certainly doesn't matter, but if we're planning to emulate the accent for our Halloween costume, we'd appreciate the opportunity to practice in advance. It's adorable how she feels indebted to Elsa, but something tells us she's going to eventually question her quality of life and where she stands among fellow performers.
5. "Where are the freaks? I'm getting bored. I don't like this, mother." - Dandy Mott
Oh, Dandy. How we longed to rip off that ascot and smack your curly head with it. This quote pretty much embodied everything that's wrong with coddled, spoiled, mentally-removed American youth.
What were your thoughts on this season's first episode? Were there any other standout moments, aside from the evil clown destroying lives and infiltrating our nightmares?