Tina Fey (Getty Images), Deena Nicole Cortese (Bauer Griffin), and Simon Cowell (PacificCoastNews)more pics » Deena (PacificCoastNews)
• The Jersey Shore
became a terror fest scarier than any horror film last night when Deena told J-Woww that she thought she might be pregnant. As America collectively broke into a cold sweat, J-Woww voiced what we were all thinking: "This is an atomic bomb waiting to go off." Deena turned out not to be pregnant, so for now we've all avoided the apocalypse that would be Jersey Shore offspring.
• Unlike Idol
, X Factor
doesn't want to draw out the torture that is the initial round of auditions, so last night was the fourth and final audition episode. 14-year-old Brian Bradley, who fancies himself a mini Jay-Z
, smack-talked Simon and then performed a self-written rap called "Stop Looking at My Mom." For the record, she was looking at us. Two plucky teenagers who call themselves AusEm (and who are most certainly Gleeks) performed an over the top, SUPER dramatic rendition of Christina Perry
's "Jar of Hearts." The judges tried to tell them gently that the "Aus" was way more awesome (oh god make it stop) than the "Em," but they both got through anyway.
• Liz Lemon for the win! According to Forbes
, Tina Fey
is the highest paid actress on television, tying with Eva Longoria
. More sandwiches and Cheesy Blasters for everyone!
• Glory glory hallelujah, Community
's ratings were up this week! We were starting to brainstorm a Community
-style Save Our Show
campaign (cootie catchers seem like the most obvious choice, right?), but now we can just talk about how awesome last night's episode was. Over-achieving Annie finally found someone more intense than she is: Annie Kim, who was immediately dubbed "Asian Annie" by the study group. The Annies battled it out in a Model U.N. face-off that was hosted by Martin Starr
's Professor Cligoris. Gem of the week: Troy understanding that Georgia the country was different than Georgia the state, but still choosing to do a southern accent anyway. Why aren't you watching this show again?
• Parks and Recreation
delivered another fantastic episode that had Ron Swanson facing off with ex-wife Tammy 1 (Patricia Clarkson
), ex-wife Tammy 2 (Megan Mullally
), and the original Tammy in his life, his mother. A mustache-less Ron Swanson is a terrifying thing.
• Disney has given the green light to a show about a talking dog who blogs (via Deadline
). It's called Dog With a Blog
and it's probably going to be better than $#*! My Dad Says
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